Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and prepare a 9x9 inch baking pan by greasing it with butter or lining it with parchment paper.

Grind the Earl Grey tea and culinary lavender in a food processor until finely ground.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together all-purpose flour, ground tea, ground lavender, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Cream unsalted butter and granulated sugar in a large mixing bowl until light and fluffy.

Add eggs one by one, mixing after each. Then add vanilla bean paste and mix until smooth.

Alternately add the dry ingredients and buttermilk to the creamed mixture, starting and finishing with dry ingredients. Mix until just combined.

Pour the batter into the prepared baking pan and bake for 38-44 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Let cool in the pan for 30 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Prepare the milk soak by heating whole milk and steeping remaining Earl Grey tea and lavender for 15 minutes. Stir in sweetened condensed milk.

Make the frosting by creaming cold cream cheese, then gradually adding powdered sugar and ground lavender.

Poke holes in the cooled cake and pour the warm milk mixture over it.

Frost the top of the cake generously with lavender cream cheese frosting.